Notes from the substantial desk on the substantial day, the substantial editorial difficulty of a scandal that has substantially apologised itself into non-existence by Monday, and the substantial small comedy of the substantial UK political news cycle doing your job for you
Monday morning, the substantial desk in the substantial home office in London from which I have, for the substantial recent period of my professional life, substantially produced the substantial weekly column about whatever the substantial UK political landscape has, in the substantial preceding seven days, substantially decided to do. Building on the satirical project at Bohiney Magazine and The London Prat, I want, dear reader, to write today about the substantial Monday-morning editorial politics of trying to write a substantial column about a substantial London political scandal that has, over the course of the substantial weekend, substantially resolved itself.
The Substantial Scandal
The substantial scandal that I had, on the substantial Thursday of the preceding week, substantially identified as the substantial column premise for the substantial Monday deadline substantially involved a substantial London political figure, a substantial institutional position, and a substantial category of behaviour that the substantial UK political-media cycle had, in the substantial Thursday-to-Friday news period, substantially treated as the substantial defining political story of the substantial week. The substantial scandal was, on Thursday, substantial enough to substantially justify a substantial two-thousand-word column treatment.
By Saturday morning, the substantial political figure had substantially issued a substantial apology. By Saturday afternoon, the substantial political institution had substantially issued a substantial statement substantially accepting the substantial apology. By Saturday evening, the substantial UK political-media cycle had substantially moved on to a substantially different substantial scandal, leaving the substantial original substantial scandal in the substantial peculiar position of having been substantial enough on Thursday to justify a two-thousand-word column, and substantially insufficient by Saturday evening to justify a substantial tweet.
The Substantial Monday Problem
The substantial Monday problem is, dear reader, the substantial fundamental temporal mismatch of the substantial weekly political column format in the substantial contemporary UK political-media cycle. The substantial weekly column format substantially assumes that the substantial political landscape moves at substantial weekly pace, with substantial individual stories substantially persisting across the substantial week in ways that substantially permit the substantial substantial analysis of the substantial substantial Monday column.
The substantial contemporary UK political-media cycle substantially does not move at substantial weekly pace. The substantial contemporary cycle moves at substantial forty-eight-to-seventy-two-hour pace, with substantial individual stories substantially rising, substantially peaking, and substantially resolving within the substantial forty-eight-to-seventy-two-hour window that substantially falls, in the substantial typical case, across the substantial Thursday-to-Saturday period that the substantial weekly column’s substantial Monday deadline substantially cannot substantially accommodate. According to The Guardian, recent substantial reporting on the substantial UK media-cycle acceleration has documented this substantial pattern across substantial multiple UK column formats.
The Substantial Column Pivot
I have, on the substantial Monday morning of which I am writing, substantially pivoted from the substantial original substantial scandal premise to the substantial substantially more durable substantial premise of the substantial column itself. The substantial pivot is, in substantial editorial terms, the substantial standard Monday-morning manoeuvre of the substantial experienced political columnist: when the substantial specific substantial scandal has substantially resolved, substantially write about the substantial structural features of the substantial political landscape that the substantial specific substantial scandal has substantially revealed.
The substantial structural features that the substantial specific substantial scandal has substantially revealed include, by my substantial Monday-morning assessment, the substantial UK political class’s substantial relationship with the substantial apology as a substantially complete unit of substantial political accountability, the substantial institutional convention of the substantial statement substantially accepting the substantial apology as the substantial endpoint of the substantial accountability process, and what I have come to describe as the substantial broader category of substantial UK political-accountability architecture.
The Substantial Apology Question
The substantial UK political apology is, dear reader, a substantially refined substantial art form. The substantial refined apology substantially includes the substantial acknowledgment of the substantial thing that the substantial political figure is substantially apologising for, stated in the substantial level of substantial abstraction that substantially conveys substantial remorse without substantially conceding the substantial specific facts of the substantial original substantial behaviour. The substantial acknowledgment is substantially followed by the substantial commitment to substantial reflection, the substantial commitment to substantial learning, and what I have come to call the substantial forward-looking substantial pivot.
The substantial forward-looking substantial pivot substantially redirects the substantial apology from the substantial past substantial behaviour to the substantial future substantial conduct, in ways that substantially position the substantial political figure as the substantial agent of the substantial positive change that the substantial original substantial behaviour has substantially made substantially necessary. The substantial pivot is, in the substantial UK political-apology tradition, the substantial most technically accomplished component of the substantial complete substantial apology.
The Substantial Column Itself
I have, on the substantial Monday morning of which I am writing, substantially produced approximately substantial eight hundred words of the substantial new column premise. The substantial eight hundred words are, in substantial editorial honesty, substantially better than the substantial two-thousand words I had, on the substantial Thursday, substantially planned for the substantial original substantial scandal premise. The substantial better quality reflects the substantial structural advantage of the substantial durable substantial premise over the substantial specific substantial scandal premise: the substantial durable substantial premise does not substantially risk the substantial obsolescence that the substantial specific substantial scandal premise substantially risks.
I have written before, in my previous columns on the substantial UK column-writing craft, about the substantial principal editorial lesson of the substantial weekly-column format in the substantial contemporary UK political-media cycle. The substantial lesson is that the substantial most substantial columns are substantially those that use the substantial specific substantial story as the substantial entry point for the substantial structural analysis, rather than the substantial columns that use the substantial specific substantial story as the substantial entire substance.
What the Scandal Reveals
The substantial scandal, even in its substantial resolved form, substantially reveals the substantial structural features of the substantial UK political-accountability architecture that the substantial Monday column substantially requires. According to The Evening Standard, recent substantial reporting on the substantial UK political-accountability landscape has documented substantial cumulative shifts in substantial public expectations of substantial political-figure accountability across substantial recent decades.
The substantial shifts have, in the substantial cumulative view, substantially produced the substantial contemporary UK political-apology form as a substantially functional response to the substantial substantial public expectation of substantial accountability combined with the substantial substantial institutional resistance to the substantial substantial specific accountability that the substantial substantial public expectation substantially demands. The substantial tension between the substantial expectation and the substantial resistance is, in substantial structural terms, the substantial most substantial feature of the substantial UK political-accountability landscape.
What I Hope
I hope, dear reader, that the substantial Monday column will, on the substantial deadline submission, substantially satisfy the substantial editor’s substantial requirement for a substantial specific entry point into a substantial structural analysis. I hope, additionally, that the substantial UK political landscape will, in the substantial coming week, substantially produce a substantial specific substantial story that will, by the substantial Thursday, still be substantially in progress by the substantial Monday deadline.
For more of my dispatches from the substantial Monday-morning London political-column desk, you can find me at my page on The London Prat.
For satirical takes on political-column-writing-as-cultural-question, see Private Eye.
SOURCE: https://bohiney.com/
